The Pendulum Swing | Faradic | Fractal Patterns | The Grave Mistake | Built of Glass | Vertiginous | Primogenial Birth | Recollection | Satori
The Pendulum Swing
I awaken, misplaced, confused, distraught, I have no sense where I lay. My vision more focus a man he approaches is he my colleague or just an enemy? Adversary? Keep composed, am I in control, don’t expose. Sedated, I’m sedated. Keep composed. I tremble with fear, I feel terrorized. All of his misconceptions of my own perception. He speaks only in truths that fall on such deaf ears. His flawless typed words I can seem to comprehend. I will no longer bend to your profane games. Everyone of the paintings look all the same. That watch you hold dear won’t stand our time. Always judging with disgusting gaze. You’re all the same. I will not follow your lead to this experiment. I will not be the one to embrace your man made beliefs. This was just a fucking waste of time. You will never be one with my mind. You will never see within these eyes. You’ll never see what I’ve become. You will never see that monster. Monster, anomaly. He approaches me with guiding hands. It’s time for the next experiment. Shock.
Strapped down and bound without a choice. What have I done so wrong. I feel this pulse deep inside. I’m losing grip of it all. I’m trapped, between this lucid state and dreamscape. I wage war. Hypnotic trance I relapse into a new world. Falling through space inside. Visions of myself swarm around my mind. I land in a barren world unaware of my fate. No one will ever know the fear that comes with this. This is my life, this is my quest now. As I endure through the years. My destiny seems unclear. Traveling so far I just cannot seem to go back. Trapped in a world of answers I seem to lack. Look to the sky I can’t find the path that I seek. Walk on through to the outer realm. With your third eye say goodbye. I’m trapped.
Stay with me and you will find that you’re not nearly my type. You’ll never know what It’s like to truly be inside. As he sits upon his chair sorting pictures. Does my interpretation matter? Every time I stare new visions appear. I’m in a trace, not of this world. My reality is just a fantasy. In and out I’m fading away. With his signs, paralyzed, hypnotized by visuals. Will I see? Can I see? Does he see through it all? On my own all alone. I only see in black and white. The world is voided of colors. Senses obscured without a word. I’m out of sync with my own sight. I cannot draw the line. Between reality and lie. Have I awaken from a dream? Nothing is quite what it seems. I cannot grasp the quality, nothing seems real to me. Get me away from this test I cannot fail. Will I ever be relieved from this endless scene? Collapse. Through these eyes I see a world not mine. I have seen all that this world can offer me. Just lead me away from this quantum theme. I have seen what no man should ever see.
The Grave Mistake
Staring into the cosmos despising this human vessel. I fall to my hands and knees praying to higher beings make me new. Awakened, feeling changed, not my kind. Closing eyes, a new place, this altered time. Journey into the mind. Through body and mass I move feeling all their pain inside. Think It’s time to go home, something won’t let me take flight. I see their thoughts swarming their psyche, they’re all lost. Release, can’t breath. Restrained, subdued, confined, captive. I never meant to be symbiotic. I wasn’t born to be symbiotic. I never wanted to be symbiotic. I will always be symbiotic. Staring out from the cosmos encased in this new type I’m modified.
Built Of Glass
Just another wasted piece of the pattern so it seems. Figure forms in the glass lost in the scape of dreams. Familiar in every way. It looks just like me. Mirrored images of a broken man. Haunted view, so askew, what is there to do? Escape mirrors! Haunted obscure view, visions so askew, what is there to do? Escape mirrors, escape me! Mirrored images of a broken man. I have seen all that I can see in this room built of glass for me. Throwing stones will not set me free. Just break for me. Lead me the way, show me the signs. I hate the site of all the eyes. I can finally see the escape is in me. Shatter this image I’ve known for far too long. Give in to you, There’s nothing to change. Just give in, There’s nothing to change.
Spinning, moving, the room it turns before my new form. I won’t recall this session at all. Your paintings gone in a flash. Erased by my own mind. Darkness appears. Shake me awake from this body I can’t escape. Awake, awaken. Back and fourth, around I go again. Body contorts muscles clench within. This is my life this is my quest. Swinging watch will haunt me till the end. Siht si ym efil, siht si ym tseuq. Back to the place this all started. I return to the desert. In the distance a city massive in size, vacant. Run to, don’t stop just go and escape. Is this me? Vacant city built inside my mind. Is this really who I am inside? Open the door.
Where have I landed? Am I along again? Swimming inside floating to the womb like a virus to the host, so easy to consume. Eating from within, consuming nutrients. I am your plague, give into me, I’m in you, give in to me. Brought into this world unseen. Give life to me. Nerves and spine become all mine. Eyes and tongue, senses form. Swimming inside I construct. Building within I form my world. Placenta stench, metal like scent. World ender, nightmare begins. Born into this world unloved. Absent father, jilted mother, I was doomed from birth. Where have I landed I am alone again. I was ripped from this world. I was ripped from this.
I seem to recall this all It’s so familiar to me. Deja vu. i’ve been here before it seems, this place is built on memories. These visions haunt me. I’ve been through it all, these rooms tell the story. A novel written, only penned by me. A new door that opens displays a scene within my mind. Each scene showing moments of my life that has passed me by. Moments turned to nightmares back to moments they’re all on loop this hallway of doors is just repeated scenes from my life. I walk through this place they call my subconscious. From childhood moments to adulthood I see it all. It strikes me this force of light from a door i’ve never been through. Is this my only escape? Open the door, walk through. Spinning, falling, I can’t seem to grasp Close your eyes Awake, awaken.
Asleep in my own mind lost in time. Stuck in this shell, coma until freed. Consciousness becomes me. Welcome me home. Dilated pupils see all you are to me. Awakened I see you near. Blurry but my vision clears. Staring right back at me, swinging watch it ticks for me. Doctor appears he claims to me that I am cured I am to be set free. I can’t believe. What have I done? When all I did was just survive. This can’t be real, this isn’t real. Ready to go. Escape. There’s just one thing before you leave this life you’ve lead, fabricated. It’s make-believe, child dreaming. This wasn’t real I don’t exist, I sit in shock as he whispers to me. Sleep my child rest until It’s through. Rest my child while your dreams are true. A child…